My better judgement has been thrown in the bin in deciding to write this… kicking a man when he is down and all that… but… he deserves a reply.

If you are reading this you probably know the story anyway… pint sized man, gets funding to build “world class” athletics track for all at huge cost, uses it for his own training business and doesn’t let other clubs use it, then in a fateful error decides to run for public office, culminating in his public disembowelment when a plucky young man decides to call him on his stinky, stinky shit.. Although I can’t really claim that all to myself as there was an astonishing spread of people in-the-know who gave me enough facts to avoid any risk of a defamation suit. I owe you all a beer. It has been some proper sport I tell ya. Better than sticking pigs I reckon.

Mark and his wedding officiator and right hand chum Cr. Jonathan Hooker decided to go to the paper when Mark lost the election. And by lost, I mean came last with the lowest amount of votes.

Yep, that’s Cr. Hooker officiating Mark and his lady’s big day.

Check it out in  the Times Age loooool:

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Where do I begin.

Well for a start, those of you who are not on Facebook, the article is referencing the video I made which I can only assume didn’t make for joyful dinner table talk at the Harris’ that week.

Guys guys guys, it is only dirty politics if it is untrue! I think he meant on the wrong end (or right, depending on your point of view) of garden-variety politics. Hoisted by ones own own petard is the more accurate term. It was an un-edited recording of a meeting  with some added animations. Whoop-dee-do. If that is dirty politics then let’s crown the cartoonists Tom Scott and Bloomfield heretical dirt bags.


Accountable democracy has been an institution off and on since 508 B.C.E, and accountable means just that. It means that normal people have it within their powers to kick wankers off governing bodies when they deserve it. Here is how it works: One person finds out bad stuff about a person who is in a position of power and then they tell as many  other people as possible all this bad stuff and then not as many people vote for them, and they lose. It is a fantastic innate failsafe for our wellbeing, but it seems Mr. Harris and Cr. Hooker missed the memo.

For the record, I never said I wanted Holmes off council. Jonathan Hooker made that up. That can be added to the list of lies that have come out of his saintly mouth. If Emily Norman did her homework she might have known he was talking out his butt. Better yet, if the paper weren’t such a bunch of gullible chooks they might not have run the story at all. I think Emily was just giving me a tongue-in-cheek birthday present though so I better say cheers Emily.

But Hooker didn’t make up that:

“…he is the last H on council.”

lol. That is true.

He is now affectionally known as “The Last of The Mohicans”. What happened to the others you ask? Pip Hannon smartly didn’t run because she didn’t want to be exposed as the work adverse “sleeper” [let that be all that is said] and Mark Harris, well, he got his chops busted fair and square at the ballots despite an extraordinarily humorous leaflet he decided to grace the town with.

One of the best things about that Times Age article though was where Hooker started relitigating my exact point that the Athletics Track was a catastrofuck and that someone needed to be held to account. If you reread the article, it is almost like Hooker thought it was unfair he didn’t go down in flames like his mate Harris did (I swear he’s a closet masochist).

That wasn’t for a lack of trying on my part though, I did try and pin it on the both of them. I wanted them to both lose. Alas, Hookers church vote was too strong. But I have 3 years to think about that.

Here is a personal challenge to Councillor Hooker. If he can show that anything I have ever said on my blog  is factually untrue about either him or Ex-councillor Harris, I will donate a weeks salary to a charity of his choice, and run around town for a 2km lap naked if he wants, and i’ll delete this entire blog so he’s no longer a google star. I’ll add a disclaimer to the charity thing though, it can’t be his church– Equippers church Masterton- as I read in a recent New Zealand Herald exclusive that his particular church along with Brian Tamaki’s “Destiny Church” have their Tithe coffers in rude health at the moment. I’d love if he could stop whinging trying to get sympathy and actually address the points i’ve raised numerous times.

Oh well, in wrapping up I’ll quote the paper:

Mr Hooker thanked voters who “prayed and voted” for him.

I guess it’s better they gave a vote rather than the usual 10% tithe. Equippers Church to be honest doesn’t attract the wealthiest people in town and the more money they can keep for themselves the better.

What a bunch of pathetic whingers.

PTL praise the lord. barf.